I was asked to write out a little slice of my story for Yoga + Health magazine called Mantra Magazine. I just found out this week that my article was published in this national magazine. I’m very excited, proud and feeling a little vulnerable with my story out in the world. I have attached the article below, and you can check it out online here.
Mantra Magazine- February 2014
In August of 2005 I was on top of the world. Upon graduating from college before my 22ndbirthday in May, I left my home and family in Idaho and promptly moved to New York City to embrace new opportunities, and chase my ultimate dream of becoming a professional dancer. On a sunny Manhattan morning I got a phone call from my mom. Her voice shaking on the phone, my mom informed me that the private airplane my brother Ben was flying to our Idaho family reunion had crashed, and the passengers on board were my brother Andy and father Bill. In the blink of an eye my family was gone. Alone, I crawled onto a plane that afternoon and flew home to meet my mom and the shattered pieces of my new and scary world. The only thing I remember from the five hour flight was the song ‘Just Breathe’ by Anna Nalick racing through my mind. A mantra that saved my life that day, and one that would change my life in the near future. A few months later in an attempt to keep distracted at all costs, I stepped into my first yoga class. With a full deep breath, it was the first time I felt back in my body since the horrific phone call, and it was enough to entice me to dive deeper. The very next weekend I enrolled in a yoga teacher training program and started my journey of swimming through my sea of grief with yoga as my lifeline. The physical attraction of asana was enticing feeding my dancer’s soul, but it was the spiritual qualities of yoga that kept me coming back for more. My time on the mat was sacred and it was a place for me to process, unravel, and make sense of my new, very painful and confusing life.
Here I am eight years later and there are still days that feel like the accident and loss was yesterday. In my yoga and meditation practice I have learned the ‘veil is thin’ and my family’s influence and memory is vibrant in my daily life. Grieving the loss of my dad and brothers is an ongoing process and when it is most overwhelming, yoga gives me the chance to face my grief one breath at a time. It’s a safe sanctuary that allows me to feel the waves of emotion, the pain, the love, and the raw sadness without judgment, and without expectation. Grief is a lonely place to be, and I like to think that though it changed me profoundly, it has given me a whole new perspective, and ultimately revealed who am and how I show up in the world.
Check out the article online here at Mantramag.com